Thoughts on The 1 Bus.

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First, if you haven’t done so already, watch Atlanta on FX. It’s my pick for the best show of 2016.

Second, I hope I’m not stepping on anybody’s toes by saying this, but I really hope one day that there will be a show that fully encapsulates the Asian-Am experience the way Atlanta has done for Black people.

Asian-Am material has come a long way. Even network fodder like Dr. Ken and Fresh Off The Boat is doing a better job of underlining the Asian-Am experience than the Joy Luck Club(1) did. Shows like Master of None do a masterful job of capturing Asian characters as simply characters instead of plot devices. American in mannerism, speech, and thought without holding religiously to some immigrant, alien trait that used to define us.

But man, wouldn’t it be amazing if there was a show that captured what it was really like to be Asian in America? To capture a culture without commodifying it? To portray characters without using them as cultural educators? To show how we live, what we value, who we want to be, without watering everything down to make it more palatable to outsiders?

That’d be dope to see one day.

It’s my hope that I wake up tomorrow to an America ready to move on from the biggest clown show in recent electoral history.

It’s my hope that Americans will stop subscribing to polemic on both sides and go back to calming the fuck down, being professionals, and getting shit done instead of slinging conspiracy theories and terrible memes at each other.

I hope, anyway. I’ll be getting drunk in the meantime.

Feel free to attack my integrity as a Niner fan for saying this, but I’d be ok with the Raiders winning the Super Bowl this year.

I know. I get it. I grew up with a lot of Raider fans in San Jose, and they can get uniquely obnoxious about their team. I took special pleasure in seeing Tampa Bay stomp the shit out of the Raiders in 2004. I’ve reveled in rubbing it in my Raider friends’ faces when the Niners were dominant with Harbaugh and Fangio at the joysticks.

But if you remove all that petty subjective hatred that we’re supposed to have for each other as sports fans(2), it’s pretty apparent that Oakland fans deserve to see their team win at least once.

Look, the Raiders are leaving Oakland. Unless some investor group decides to do the East Bay a solid and eat the vast majority of costs to build a new stadium, they’re packing their shit and going to Las Vegas as soon as they can convince enough owners to let them. The mathematics just don’t add up for the Oakland Raiders to remain the Oakland Raiders. I really wish it did, because Bay Area football just isn’t the same without those silver and black bastards making a ruckus up 880.

And the Raiders – which I will grudgingly admit – have some of the best and most loyal fans in football. Show me one person who’ll feel comfortable wearing away colors in the Black Hole, and I’ll show you a fucking liar.

The Oakland Raider fans deserve to see the fruits of a successful Oakland Raider team after being dicked by terrible draft choices and the senile epilogue of Al Davis’ amazing contributions to football, Oakland, and the Raiders organization.

So yeah, I’d be ok with the Raiders win a Super Bowl while they’re still in Oakland. I’m not going to root for it to happen. I’m not going to hope for it to happen. But I’d be ok with it.

When Republicans share Tomi Lahren’s Final Thoughts, I feel like they’re sharing highlights of their favorite boxer fighting a heavy bag.

“I AGREE WITH EVERYTHING SHE’S SAYING UNINTERRUPTEDLY.”

I can see why her Final Thoughts are so shareable. After watching some of her interviews with people to the left (sometimes, WAY left) of her, her rhythm gets thrown off. Her interview with Charlamagne is a good example. She flits from point to point, like a safecracker trying to find the weak spots of Charlamagne’s rebuttals and arguments. If you’re into high-school debates, you might enjoy the technical bob-and-weave of her arguments, but it doesn’t allow her to get into an uninterrupted rhythm that makes her base froth at the mouth.

Lahren is best when you get to hear her argue with the camera, the way rappers argue with unspecified “haters.” That neo-Coulter brand of confrontational arguments, mixed with sassy sound bytes and selective volume to underline the logical fragments of her monologue, it’s really best when it’s a one-man show.

But the scary thing is how alluring it is to be caught up in her outrage. It’s like her voice represents the rising tempo of a trap song(3), building up conservative outrage until she finally drops the hammer on how logically fallible Black Lives Matter is. Then everyone in coal country headbangs in agreement.

It also probably helps that she’s better looking than every conservative or alt-right host on TV. Not to be shallow, but Hannity looks like an angry potato and Alex Jones is just a Confederate version of Augustus Gloop.

(1) AKA the literary version of the Chinese guitar jingle that white people believe to be the Asian National Anthem.^

(2) Don’t get me wrong, I love being petty about sports. Just ask my old roommate Brian.^

(3) Yes, I know I’m 30 years old.^

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