Paradise Forgotten

The word paradise always seemed so static to me. The definition of heaven from Scripture always felt out of touch to the video-game obsessed youth I was. What the hell would I want to do, hanging out with a bunch of people wearing white and singing choirs and hymns with harps and shit for the rest of eternity? Where were the impossibly curvy female leads? The dudes with humungous swords and could cast magic spells? Where was the constant state of adventure?

If I remember correctly, all the pearly imagery was just an allegory for what heaven is supposed to be. Paradise isn’t supposed to be a reward for your senses, it’s a mental, subconscious one. We’re theoretically supposed to be filled with a sense of undying happiness for being one with our Creator.

But see, if that’s really the case, my Earth-bound ass may still be too simple to truly value what that means.

Eternity is hard to fathom when everything in existence is temporal. Everything dies. Even the universe has a projected expiration date. Forever ever doesn’t mean forever, no matter how long it seems when you’ve grown.

Of course, as you grow older, it’s harder to stay satisfied with anything that provides happiness. You become tired with the same old ecstasies, and try to keep things fresh by experimenting with new things.

So when I’m promised undying happiness as a reward for living a Christ-like existence, I can’t help but think that such a thing is impossible.

Of course, it’s also impossible to truly disprove the existence of Paradise and its gatekeepers. For God, all things are possible, even things that our mortal minds can’t seem to fathom. There are only so many dimensions we can work with.

I’m not sure what to expect when I die, but I think I became more at peace with my life’s direction when I realized that it wouldn’t really matter. I’ll be dead. Dying is the great equalizer, the one thing that’s outside of everyone’s control. It’s something that can be beaten away, but it’s something that is inevitably unavoidable.

So if I find nothing but a void, an unending pause to this series of barely interconnected events that life has made itself out to be, I suppose I’ll find whatever paradise is awaiting me. Because eternity, whatever it ends up being, seems to be waiting at the other side of life.

Happy Monday everyone.

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